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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

How to Lose Your Accent

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At the DiMera mansion, Rolf picks up a book entitled How to Lose Your Accent and makes a humorous attempt to practice with a “Bitter Butter” tongue twister. John emerges with a grin and tells him not to give up, as he’s doing great. Rolf rants how the book is causing him brain damage and begs John to stop the madness. “Not until you lose that accent. It gets on my nerves,” responds John. “Have you ever considered that the way you talk gets on my nerves?” retorts Rolf. John reminds Rolf who’s in charge and warns the mad scientist that he can send him to prison. Rolf questions what John wants from him. John affirms that he wants the finer things in life and makes reference to Henderson, Victor’s butler, and wants Rolf as his. Rolf insists that he’s doing what he’s supposed to. “Yes, but like the tongue twister, I need a better butler, not a bitter butler,” enunciates John. Rolf informs John of a call regarding another Kiriakis shipment which will be in tomorrow. John shares his plan to monopolize the shipyards and the docks and claims that it’s nothing personal against the Kiriakises. John fixes his shirt in the mirror when he hears that Marlena’s there. “So Blondie. What are you doing visiting me?” smiles John. She begins to explain, then looks at Rolf and requests to talk to John in private. John, who tells Rolf to go “buddle” something. Marlena appears amused and doesn’t understand why he allows that “lunatic” in his house. “He spent a lot of time torturing me, and now I’m torturing him,” declares John. Marlena refers to this as demented, but John thinks it’s fun.

Sami and EJ arrive, where Sami fills her mom in on their meeting with the immigration agent. Marlena hints for Rolf to go elsewhere. John hands him the "Lose Your Accent" book and quips how he won’t be able to put it down. “I’d rather wait until the movie comes out,” responds Rolf. John hints how they show a movie once a month.... in prison. Rolf leaves the room. Sami is confused by the banter between the two men and reveals that the immigration agent wants to deport EJ. John wonders what the problem is. A confused Sami affirms that EJ has been helping out with the twins and they need a father. EJ affirms that he loves the twins, but fate is conspiring against them. Sami brings up their money troubles. EJ announces that he has a job now, but it will be a while until the money comes through. John offers to give them money if it means they will get out of his hair. Sami states that Mr. Burke wants them to prove that they have a “real” marriage and wants them to spend time with their extended families. Marlena isn’t sure what they’re getting at, so Sami suggests they live with her. Marlena stammers and says her place just isn’t big enough, but offers to get a bigger place for all of them. She then looks at John and declares that she’s changed her mind. “That’s women for ya,” chuckles John, which amuses EJ. Marlena mentions how it’s not a good time for them to move in with her, since she’s busy getting her practice up to speed and the real estate market is up in the air. She states that there’s only one option, and that’s to move in with John. EJ and Sami don’t feel comfortable with this idea.

Sami takes Marlena aside and refers to her idea as crazy. Marlena suggests that it might be good for everyone, because Sami and EJ would have a place to stay and John could be the extended family. Sami balks at the idea, referring to it as “all kinds of weird.” Rolf offers them a drink, but he gets a dirty look from the ladies. Marlena agrees that it’s weird, but doesn’t see a lot of other options. Sami grimaces how John still freaks her out. Marlena implores her to try to be empathetic and suggests that maybe they can help John find his way back to his old self. Sami asks Marlena to move into the mansion with them in order to make the situation more tolerable, which stuns Marlena. “Maybe if I moved in here, I could help him become the man that he used to be,” smiles a hopeful Marlena as she glances at a cigar smoking John.

John offers EJ a cigar, but EJ declines. John remarks what a shame it is that Stefano disowned EJ and now John inherits his empire. EJ affirms that he’s a changed man and doesn’t want anything to do with his father anymore. John states the irony of the situation, since he’s also a changed man thanks to Stefano. Rolf brings them more drinks. John then addresses the living situation and admits that he doesn’t really feel comfortable hanging out with Stefano’s kid. John asks Rolf if he can handle the added chores of taking care of the extra people. “I’d sooner choke on a schnitzel,” remarks Rolf. John suggests that it would be a good way to keep an eye on anyone trying to pull a “DiMera coo.”

Marlena chuckles that moving into the mansion is out of the question for her. “You want me to live in this parallel universe but you’re not willing to move in here yourself?” retorts Sami. Marlena sees her point and has to talk to John about it.

John commends Rolf on his way with cheese puffs. Rolf says it’s his own formula. EJ points out that in English they say “recipe.” “Oh, he means formula. He’s a mad scientist,” affirms John. Marlena tells a cigar smoking John that she and Sami have found a solution to their problems and suggests that Sami, EJ, and the twins move in with him. Marlena asks him to blow the smoke in a different direction, since it stinks. John counters that her plan stinks, claiming that the last thing he needs are a couple of brats running around there. Marlena announces that she’d be moving in too. Rolf balks at this idea and refers to Marlena as crazy, since she pulled a gun on him. Sami is stunned by this revelation. “Ah, I was trying to make a point,” Marlena nonchalantly replies. John refers to Marlena’s actions as kind of sexy. Marlena asks John what he thinks of them all moving in and becoming one big happy family. “You mean like the average American family: brainwashed dad, gun-toting mom, married couple who hates each other, a mismatched set of twins and an evil scientist butler,” clarifies John, who has to think about it.

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